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down and out….

So today I have spent the day on the couch.  My feet are simply killing me!  I wear an “AFO” (Ankle Foot Orthosis) similar to what is commonly seen on people with CP, children with clubbed feet, or even those having survived polio.  Mine is completely rigid.  I’ve worn one off and on most of my life.  Brief explaination is that I was born with bones fused that shouldn’t have been and when I learned to walk other bones broke to allow movement.  I went years in pain as a child without anyone really knowing what was wrong with me.  I was casually treated for “juvenile flat foot” because that is what it appeared to be (despite the fact that I only have 4 toes on that foot…which SHOULD indicate that there were deformities present).  Anyhow, it became increasingly crippling as I got older and so I opted to have the joint fused.  The only option other than “deal with it” offered to me.  It’s been fused for a decade now.  Wearing my brace isn’t optional anymore as a result.  I used to go barefoot as a child because my mom said if I put my shoes on, then I had to wear my brace.  So I just rarely put shoes on.  Shoes hurt worse as a child anyway.  Bones grinding against seams, buckles, heal plates and causing open sores…  While in school, no one even knew anything was wrong with me.  I had a severe limp that I hid by walking slowly and wearing long pants all the time. 

Soooo back to today.  My brace is obvious these days.  I can only wear athletic shoes.  Sucks when it comes to military balls, but I have years of experience making it work.  BUT the last few days I have been on my feet non-stop.  Something no one realizes is that I do not get to enjoy a nice cushy running shoe.  My foot is on solid, hard plastic all day.  It never gets to experience cushion other than my sock.  Not only that, but my good foot takes a lot of beating because I constantly shift to it when I have to stand.

I BBQ’d for the hubby’s “shop” yesterday.  Between the cooking and house cleaning my feet were in agony.  I didn’t get much sleep last night for the pain.  Today I tried to stay off my tootsies as much as possible.  It makes me feel so incredibly lazy to do that.  I don’t like having to stop.  I want to be active and running and going and doing. 

So forgive me my “pity party” tonight.  I’m so feeling like the fat lazy cow.  I am blessed that my husband and children completely understand that sometimes mommy just hurts and needs to chill.  On a different note, I had a chance to finish cutting out my paint chip sample circles in two sizes for a craft I’m doing. 😀  Now all I need to do is hotglue them to the twine and hang them up.


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