You can’t be you or I can’t be me and sometimes I wonder if I’m the only one who sees the delimma. I have a lot of love in my heart for my friends, even the ones who live lives that I have issue with. They expect me to walk quietly along, though, accepting of these things. Worse yet, they fully expect me to see the “error of MY ways”. I’m not only NOT supposed to say anything, but supposed to completely switch my beliefs to agree with theirs. So basically, I’m not allowed to be me because I have to make room for them to be them. I have to accept them, but they don’t have to accept me? It’s all touted under the names of “freedom”, “equality”, and the “right to choose”. There’s probably a few more I could add to the list, but they escape me at this moment. My point is that those names are false and hide the real intentions. If they REALLY meant those things, then they’d agree that I have a right to stand firm in my own beliefs…they’d agree that I have a right to FEEL even if what I feel is sad, angry, offended, and even sometimes disgusted. Now let me tell you what I DON’T feel. I don’t feel hatred. I’ve been told time and time again that by not agreeing I am breeding hate. I am not. When I see someone I love walking a path that I know God doesn’t approve of I still love them. I’d like to say that I love them like Christ loved me, but not quite. I’m working on it. I’d like to shout from the rooftops right now and at the same time I’m going to say a prayer that all my friends and loved ones will hear me…I love you even when I think you are wrong, even when I don’t agree with you. I will NOT go against my spiritual and moral beliefs just to make you feel better.
Once upon a time someone told me that part of what they loved about me is that I only had one face…it might be right up in yours at times…but there’s only one. If you ever want to know where you stand with me, ask and I will tell you. With age I have mellowed and sometimes bite my tongue. I tell myself I’m not really being asked my opinion…but my tongue is sore and I am tired.
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